Why me?
Why Me?
I thought it could never happen.
Until it did.
Totally unexpected.
Totally never imagined.
Why me?
No, this isn't happening to me, it can't be.
That's all I can say.
Denying it is the only way I can live.
I wonder how come it had to happen to the person that would give unlimited amount of
love.
The person who was always there to give me a hug,
The person that I could always go to with a problem.
What did I do that makes me deserve this?
Is this punishment for something I've done in my past?
Why me?
Slowly I'm deteriorating but able to do some of my regular routines.
How am I to conquer over this?
By being strong.
Knowing the people around me, they would think I have already won this battle,
When really, I've barely even stepped onto the battlegrounds of the twisted emotion that come with grief.
Why me?
I'm hurting so badly.
Can't eat,
Can't sleep,
Can't concentrate,
Scared for the most part.
Petrified of losing another person close to me.
It feels like someone has cut one of my legs off with a guillotine.
I see it coming but don't expect it to come so fast and leave me in numbness as if nothing happened or changed.
I see my leg isn't there but it feels like it is.
I see my mother isn't there but it feels like she is.
I go to walk and I fall hard,
Hard into the face of reality,
Reality showing me that she's gone and isn't coming back.
My mother was like no other.
I mean sometimes I would just marvel at how much of a strong woman she was.
Now, all I can do is reminisce about the memories of her strength.
She has left on to a different life,
Eternal life.
I understand that parents are supposed to die before their children,
But why did my mother have to live an abbreviated life?
Sure I'm upset, but there wasn't anything I could do.
All things happen for a reason, right?
With all the questions I have,
There's not an answer to any of them.
Maybe its supposed to be like that.
But the one question that will forever boggle my mind is why me?
Jessica
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